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When Dad’s cousin died and we were at the grave site, everyone present took turns with a shovel to scoop the dirt and throw it on the casket resting six feet below, essentially filling her grave and burying her (while the workers at the cemetery who dug the hole watched on restful). We each filed through in our cemetery appropriate mournful attire taking the shovel, some scooping and tossing 20 - 40 times, others a bit less depending on their strength or frailty, but everyone participated. We were told this was the greatest gift we could give to honor her and show her our love because it is a gift she could never repay. That was so incredibly moving and profound for me. And the fact that we, a community of close relatives and friends, buried her, together, was a beautiful experience. That you for asking this question.

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Thank you for sharing. Caring for a dead body in Judaism, Livayat HaMet, is one of the greatest mitzvot because it truly is a selfless act. I would also include in this praying for the dead and memorializing them in some way :) Love you!

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I'm so glad you came with! It was a very fun and unique wedding. Shabbat Shalom :)

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I’m sitting on Zepolite Beach (google that before you visit me) ready to return to Mitla, Oaxaca in time for Shabbat and enjoying another of your Shabbat Drops. I loved this one! I wish I had a recipe for your Bubby’s Potato Leek Soup! Thank you for sharing 😘

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Maddy's reference to my cousin Barbara reminded me that when Barbara's mother died, Barbara jumped into the open grave. A dramatic moment, reminding me the scene in the play Hamlet, when Laertes jumped in Ophelia's grave. I had thought that very dramatic and perhaps excessive but now I understand how profound an action it was.

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