How I'm Finding Joy This Adar
It's hard out here, but not impossible
Dear friends,
It never seems like the Jewish calendar lines up right with the secular year. During the happiest, most care-free time (August), we’re supposed to be sad (the Three Weeks and Tisha B’Av). During the coldest, dreariest time of year (now, depending on where you live), we’re supposed to be joyful. Which brings us to Adar.
Purim starts Monday evening. For a refresher, read this ol’ Drop.
Purim is during the Hebrew month of Adar, the most auspicious time in the Jewish calendar. Haman tried to have us killed, but our fate was reversed. Now, everything is upside down (but not in a creepy Stranger Things way), we’re drunk as skunks, eating delicious hamantaschen, and we’re giving gifts! Yay!
Only… I don’t feel this way. I don’t know about you, but this time of year is not my favorite. We’re getting blizzards here in NYC, where the fresh white snow lasts for a couple of hours until the plows mix it into a blackened, sooty slush. And personally, I have a lot going on. A lot of questions that need answers, things I’m working on, and attempts to plan a vacation in a warm place. Spring can’t come soon enough!
I’ve been seeing social media posts about Adar, of superficial ways to increase joy, like by treating yourself and adding more whimsy to your life.
I completely support these ideas, but they don’t seem substantial enough for my Jewish soul. So, I’ve been chasing the highs of Jewish joy, choosing joyous opportunities - some intentional, and some just because that’s how I live my life. Here are some of the ways I’ve been doing that. Got any? Drop ‘em in the comments.
1. Making Time for Torah Study
One of my Jewish communities here in NYC has a regular parsha study on Zoom every Tuesday at noon. However, I can’t usually make it because my team at work typically has our weekly meeting during this time. I never get the chance to study Torah with my community.
However, this week’s blizzard kept me working from home on Tuesday, and my team meeting happened to be canceled. I jumped on the chance to join, especially since I started reading the book the class reads: It Takes Two to Torah by Abigail Pogrebin and Dov Linzer.
45 minutes of Torah study in lieu of a lunch break was time well spent! We studied Parashat Tetzaveh, and learned about the distinctive “uniform” of the High Priest versus the plain clothing of all the regular ol’ priests. We discussed whether or not the High Priest’s requirements of fine linen and the stone-studded breastplate were a symbol of superiority, or responsibility (my vote is the latter).
We also discussed what it means to carry our inheritance visibly, be it your grandmother’s Star of David necklace or your father’s kippah. We agreed that it expresses outward Jewish pride, while also symbolizing the responsibility you take on as the wearer in representing the Jewish people to the world. Meaning, don’t go around “hitting grandmas” while wearing a kippah, as the teacher said. You should take off your kippah before hitting grandmas! Just kidding, don’t do that either. A more practical example would be to not litter while being outwardly Jewish. You shouldn’t litter anyway, but wearing Judaica gives you more responsibility to not do so, since caring about the land is a Jewish value.
2. Choosing Positivity Over Negativity
Maybe it’s because of what Bret Stephens said at the State of World Jewry address about living 10% Jewier, but I’m trying to redirect my Jewish life toward more positive experiences rather than focusing on antisemitism or antizionism. I feel bad writing this because there are some great and important events out there (like my friend’s necessary talk he hosted with Adam Louis Klein of the Movement Against Antizionism), and I don’t mean to snub them in any way. This is just the journey I’m on right now.
On Tuesday night, I had to make a choice: join my Zionist book club, or attend UJA’s event of Jewish celebrities reading letters written about Israel across centuries at Carnegie Hall. I actually was torn, because I liked this month’s book, As a Jew by Sarah Hurwitz. And we all know how much I love her! But I also enjoy an Israel celebration, especially when Amy Schumer is involved, and especially when the tickets are free.
As I wrote in this bookish Drop, As a Jew focuses on how antisemitism has shaped the author’s “apologetic” Jewish identity. I loved the second half of the book that tears into antizionism, and it does take a more positive turn when she reclaims her sense of identity and Zionism, but the book’s tone feels negative throughout. As it should; it’s a response to something negative.
Which is fine, just not what I’m in the mood for right now. I’m desperate for joy and knowledge!! Focusing on antisemitism isn’t going to scratch that itch. Though being in community does, and I look forward to the next Jewish book club meeting (love you, ladies!).
Also… the event I attended was the best Jewish event I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been to many Jewish events. It was truly a love letter to Israel, in words read from the 1st century BCE to October 7th. No politics, just love, and a reminder of why the Jewish people need a homeland. Our homeland.
Just watch this video of a packed Carnegie Hall singing Hatikvah together:
3. Listening to Jewish or Israeli music
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a showcase of six Israeli musicians. Yes, now I’m just bragging about all the cool Jewish events there are in NYC.
Of course, this event wasn’t advertised as Israeli, but as “international.” Fortunately, my friend’s friend organized the night, so I knew the truth!
Here’s electronic soul from Masok (which means helicopter in Hebrew). The singer was funky, bouncing around the stage, clutching her pregnant belly in an oversized jacket and pleated miniskirt that showed off her heavily tattooed legs, while her fiancé tapped away at his synth.
The star of the show (or hofa’a in Hebrew for show/performance as I learned this week) was Gal de Paz, singer/songwriter, pianist, and the lead singer of two bands, The Paz Band and Lucille Crew. She completely captured the room’s attention as she sat at a piano in fuzzy knee-high heeled boots and belted out heartfelt lyrics. Her voice has gentle huskiness to it, like a subtle rawness. You’d guess she was from the American south, like Alabama, instead of Israel. Her band, Lucille Crew, later joined her on stage. They were more hip hop and funk. If you do anything today, please check out this song:
4. Hosting a Shabbat Meal
I love hosting, and I haven’t done it in a year. My tiny apartment isn’t going to deter me from doing what I love!
Tonight, I’m hosting a Jewish friend and his wife, both of whom I introduced to Shabbat about a year ago. That was a special dinner: they hosted and cooked, invited a bunch of Jews and non-Jews, and I led the group in the traditions. I should make a side business out of this! If anyone is looking for this kind of service, email me! ;) One requirement: you must be a good cook, like my friends.
I told them that Shabbos at my home will basically be the same, but with less space. And matbucha pasta!
5. Scheduling Jewish Coffee Dates
Now that I’m over the flu and it’s more than 9 degrees outside, I’ve been making time to have conversations with people about Judaism: what we’re looking for in community, what we want to learn, and what projects we’re working on. I’ve been reconnecting with people from earlier in my life, and with fellow creators on Instagram.
They’re the kind of deep and uplifting conversations I craved in my 20s as part of the Great Jewish Journey. Keep ‘em comin’!
🥳 Shab Shalom and Purim sameach. Keep choosing joy,
💦 If you like Jewish joy, check out this Drop:
The Jewish Secret to Happiness
We all want to be happy, especially at the beginning of the new year when we want to start our year off right with a “clean slate.” So what’s the secret? It turns out there’s a ton, and luckily, Judaism incorporates all of them in its practice! Read more in detail about each, and then scroll down for a list to check in with yourself to see how often you’re doing these things.