Cemetery Measuring Women of Ashkenaz
A forgotten Jewish custom of connecting with the dead.
Welcome back to the Drop!
I hope you had a meaningful, celebratory High Holiday season. Personally, I got a lot of lulav shakes in, which was a first for me!
Note: Jewish Virtual Book Club has now moved to Sunday, January 12 at 10:30am ET to discuss Uncomfortable Conversations with a Jew by Emmanuel Acho & Noa Tishby. Register here.
In honor of a different holiday that occurred this week, this week’s Drop is kind of ~witchy~.
I know Halloween isn’t very Jewish; in fact, its pagan origins contrast with Jewish values and practices. However, I grew up in capitalist America and love dressing up, so I happen to “celebrate” October 31st! Bring on the mini Snickers and Twizzlers!
Which brings us to… cemetery measuring. Sound spooky, doesn’t it? It’s actually quite meaningful, if not witchy.
I wrote about this a little back in my first Shavuot debrief, but realized people still don’t know what the heck I’m blabbering on about when I mention the cemetery measuring women. The world needs to know about this interesting, forgotten Jewish practice!
During tough personal times like an illness in the family, Ashkenazi women used to visit cemeteries and measure gravesites of loved ones or entire cemeteries, depending on the severity of the issue, with a string. They would do this to call on their deceased loved ones for help, kind of like a Jewish Ouija board.
They would also measure gravesites during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and try to connect to the dead. The practices dates back to the 12th century, and was widely popular during the 19th and 20th centuries. The women who did this were paid professionals known in Yiddish as feldmesterins (cemetery measurers).
But, Miranda, what would they do with the piece of string?
They didn’t dangle the piece of string in front of people to hypnotize them. Nor did they create spiderweb decorations with the string for their local synagogues.
They used the string to tie knots for their husbands’ tzitziyot. Sike, that’s also a lie. I had you though, right?
Here’s the truth: they would make a candle by using the string as a wick. These candles, called neshome likht (soul candles) were often gifted to the local synagogue or used in rituals as yahrzeit candles or for Yizkor on Yom Kippur. Occasionally, they would light them for protection against evil spirits.
They would also cut the strings into smaller pieces and wear them around the wrists or ankles as protective jewelry.
How to measure a grave
Take a ball of thread or pre-waxed candlewick, and place one end on the ground at the top right-hand corner of the grave.
Unravel it around the grave and cut the thread when it meets the starting point.
Recite a personal prayer while measuring the grave, speaking to the deceased and calling on them for help with your personal matter and thanking them for their spiritual guidance.
There you have it, the basics of Ashkenazi cemetery measuring women. Try it out for yourself! What late family member would you try to connect with? I have my dead cats’ ashes in my apartment - I could measure the boxes and make Shabbos candles out of the string!
Shabbat Shalom and stay out of trouble,
Additional resources
Making Soul Candles: An Ashkenazi Jewish Ancestral Folk Tradition
Songs and prayers for cemetery measuring (and what we can learn from them)
death. burials. advice. I wonder how many Jews these days choose cremation rather than burials. And cremations, of course, a stark reminder of the Holocaust murders, where Jewish families had no choice. And posted on All Soul's Day. And then, too, The Day of the Dead (Nov 1 and 2): a national day of embracing the dead and potentially one's own death. Death and burial, like so many other things, change, and evolution. And currently, there are studies to try to understand if animals sense death, their dead kin
And, finally, for some thinkers, humans became human way back in time when they bezgan to bury their dead.
What a come back post! Great content - I think you found a job I’d be great at! Next year on our annual cemetery trek to visit your father’s relatives, I’ll bring along a ball of string in addition to my beautiful cape cod stones.